The Epidemic of Trans Hating Gay Men

Gay Separatism, Internalised Homophobia & Being 'Normal'

Before I start here, let me be clear that in this article, I’m talking about a very strange, and seemingly self-segregated type of gay man. Throughout the years, gay men have been some of the most supportive and steadfast protectors of me - a trans woman. And so, that’s what makes this particular gay archetype so confounding and, ultimately, depressing to me. Let’s talk about trans hating gays.

Throughout recorded history, there have been individuals who seek to drag down others in their community, whether it be for self preservation or pure psychopathy - and the LGBT community is no different. Over the past few years, I’ve noticed a proliferation of these sort of ‘gender critical’ gays - predominantly spewing their vitriol on social media, but a few now have become so comfortable among their oppressors that they’ve taken to television to do it (if you consider GB News television).

Whenever I post a video online about trans issues, I usually notice a surprisingly high reply rate, be it in the comments or in video responses, from gay men who - above anything else - want me to know 1) how badly I pass, 2) how I’ll never be a real woman, and 3) how it’s the trans communities fault that ‘women’s and LGB rights’ are currently at risk. According to them, the ‘woo-woo woke clown-world overreach of the pronoun brigade’ has soured society at large on true ‘same sex attracted people’. They inform me that they are the majority in this view, and that the only reason it doesn’t ‘seem like it’ is because many gays are just ‘too scared to speak out’. Which is funny, because when did you ever meet a white gay man who was ‘scared’ to mouth off? According to the transphobic gay, trans people have it coming - and we have for a long time now.

A slogan that is popular among them is LGB-without the ‘T’, which has become a sort of mantra for the transphobic gay not wanting to be associated with ‘pervert, cross-dressing autogynephiles’ (or as they used to call us - trannys - which I have to say I preferred as it was at least catchier and more succinct). Apparently - ‘trans’ is intrinsically different to ‘gay’, because (to their logic, anyway) homosexuality is just when two willies touch. Or two vaginas, obviously. Nothing in-between, though. The transphobic gay is free from the headache inducing complexities of romance, nuance or fluidity. He likes his men hunky, his girls fag-haggy and his brunch sloppy - and the only thing he likes more than that, is cock. I know that sounds crude, but the way in which these gays speak about love and romance leaves no room whatsoever for ambiguity. It’s all biological - material. Dull. The reason why, in their estimation, that trans people are contrary to their plight, is that our openness to gender fluidity somehow invalidates the ‘rules’ of same sex attraction. They will claim that trans women are merely ‘straight men in dresses’, while at the same time pleading for us to ‘come to our senses’ and ‘live authentically’ as effeminate gay men. It’s unwinnable, and ironically overcomplicating something that most of us feel pretty secure about. We know who we are. Funny that? The transphobic gay makes the claim that a type of gender-nonconformity is completely compatible with their world-view, so long as you concede to being accepted as a ‘man’ - something all of them know is an impossibility for us - while choosing to ignore the very real societal implications of gender expression (and the individual’s right to an autonomous self-identity, obviously).

I know that some gays and lesbians view their sexuality as steadfast and definitive. I know a lot of them like to think of themselves as ‘Gold Star’ - having never been in any doubt. Not to be that bitch, but isn’t this the real fiction being indulged in here? Surely, all human beings are more complex than this? This doesn’t mean that I want to force a gay or lesbian man or woman to date me - despite their insistence that this is happening at terrifying rates, it’s simply ridiculous. How do you ‘force’ somebody to date you? Hack into their dating profile and match yourself? Lock the doors to Bella Italia until they agree on first base? Trans people struggle enough these days trying to figure out who their allies are, let alone their prospective romantic partners.

In a way, it’s a shame these transphobic gays aren’t more open, because I get the distinct feeling that a lot of them are deeply lonely. From what I can see, they don’t have much of a gay ‘community’ to speak of . For various different reasons, they don’t seem to ‘get on’ with the majority of the LGBT community - which they claim is because of their belief that the ‘T’ ought to be separated from the ‘LGBT’. They end up finding more ‘community’ among the sort of Brexit-voting white women and closeted ex-comedy writers who frequent the LGB-Alliance conferences. Yes, they have partners sometimes - but their bond is usually a product of a mutual feeling of ‘outsiderism’. They’re the outsiders outsiders, outside even from the marginalised. More special than special. Not like all the others… ‘normal gays’. Call me cautious, but I don’t trust anyone who insists on their ‘normality’. These are always the ones with the most to hide.

A lot of these anti-trans gays love to harp on about how ‘different’ trans people are from ‘gays’ - but lets just nip this in the bud now - it’s a really dumb thing to say. Trans people have always been aligned with gay causes - we’ve always been deeply involved in gay activism, and our struggles, although not always exactly identical - definitely overlap. This wouldn’t be so hard a concept to understand if transphobic gays could wrap their heads around intersectionality, but they can’t. They’re simply too dumb. And I don’t mean that to be an attack - I’m stating this factually, not to be insulting - they’re dumb. The ditziness would be sweet, if it wasn’t so culturally damaging. It reinforces a twisted view of a ‘community’ they aren’t a part of - and an idea of ‘womanhood’ they have no stake in. So many transphobic gays want to tell trans women that they’re ‘misogynist’ for ‘not respecting women’s hard-won rights to their own spaces’ - despite having seemingly no idea about what the actual majority of women think or feel about trans lives. I spend a lot of my life in the company of ‘real women’ and, for the most part, it simply doesn’t reflect the reality of what these gays say it is. Regardless of the frequent lies these vicious little queens peddle, most trans people have a great experience of community among gay and lesbian people, and that isn’t likely to change any time soon. It’s funny, because one thing these transphobic gays love to say is - that trans people are fundamentally misogynistic. They claim that our identities are ‘grotesque parodies’ based on stereotypes - and yet, they continue to push these sort of regressive worn-out gay stereotypes which refuse to acknowledge the nuances of sexual attraction.

For example, there’s a gay reality TV dating show airing in the UK right now called ‘I Kissed a Boy’ - and a lot of transphobic gays are getting riled up because one of the men on the show is a trans man. They’re having a fit because, as they see it, allowing someone they perceive as a ‘woman’ to participate is ‘homophobic’. Obviously, this guy isn’t a woman. He’s a trans man, who socially lives his life as a man and is just as entitled to participate in finding love, affection - or a good shag as anyone else. But, the way these creeps see it is - it’s forcing ‘real’ gay men to ‘have it off with a woman’. More than anything, I think this just shows how out of touch these sort of gays are - clearly having access to very little, to no diverse LGBT community, who might be able to sensitively challenge their views. Instead, their internalised homophobia (and transphobia) bubbles over into the self-perpetuating online realm.

Any hope of conversation turns to scattershot insults. I get many on a daily basis, for daring to show my face on Instagram or YouTube. You know, it’s always interesting to me how transphobes all seemingly adopt the exact same insults. ‘Your voice is deep’ ‘You look like a trucker in a wig!’ ‘Your aggressive eyes’ - oh no scary! It’s almost as if they’re all conspiring in the same shitty little private Facebook groups, isn’t it? It’s almost as if they don’t actually have any original, philosophical thoughts. If you think gay men are ‘more sensitive’, this should be a wakeup call for you.

Which leads me to my last theory on these trans-hating homosexuals… when they complain about being ‘ostracised’ from the LGBT community - or ‘having nothing in common’ with them, I actually think it doesn’t have much to do with trans people at all. Trans people are, not for the first or last time, the scapegoat for something much more egregious. See, as we all know - being ‘gay’ has never been a synonym for being ‘nice’ And, it’s generally acknowledged that men, in particular, who insist on their own ‘niceness’ or ‘normality’ upfront are often compensating. ‘Niceness’ or ‘normality’ is something that you prove, through your actions, not through your username.

The sad truth is, a lot of these transphobic gays are just right wing. Looking through their accounts, you don’t have to dig too far before you stumble across blatant xenophobia. Whether it’s sharing Katie Hopkins clips about Muslims, or having long podcast discussions about the ethics of immigration - these gays are usually barely even trying to hide their disgusting intolerances. The gender-critical gay YouTuber Jack Jewell recently put out a video detailing the reasons he was planning on voting Reform, for instance. A refreshing break from his usual torrent of unfiltered trans-misogyny.

The reason these ‘gay men’ have been ostracised from their respective ‘gay community’ isn’t because they committed the ‘cardinal sin’ of not bowing to the transgender cult… it’s because they’re prejudices expand way, way beyond that.

For all the criticisms they have against trans people like me - who apparently ‘can’t face reality’ it’s amazing how little self awareness they have when it comes to their own situation. You aren’t martyrs. You aren’t waving the flag for sex-based rights. You’re conservative. The only philosophy you live by is selfishness and self preservation. You’re building a barn and you’re pulling the ladder up behind you. You’re a neo-conservative, and I’m glad you’re finally starting to be open about it, so we can mark you out. You want so badly to be accepted by straight society, that you’re willing to use and take credit for the gay rights that were won decades ago, while doing absolutely nothing at all to help progress them now.

You call yourselves ‘normal gays’ but you couldn’t be less normal. And that is why we reject you. You see you, and we don’t want you.

So have fun on your farms, living your quaint little segregated lives. But when your Wi-Fi goes down, don’t even think about coming back to the city to watch Drag Race.

You’ll have to put up with Farmer John’s Cow Race, or whatever it is you have out there.

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