JURASSIC PARK
Rich, poor, brick, doll, black, white, fat, thin and all others in between...
Last one. Used to take them 4 at a time. Every day. 9 o’clock. Didn’t think about it. One left now. Just one. That’s it. Shit…
Ration it out? Get a knife. Cut into slivers. Go weekly. Could work? Won’t work. Useless idea. Go out with some dignity, girl.
First not in stock. Come back in a few days. Then waiting on the clinic. Then bad news. Not just me. All of us. Rich, poor, brick, doll, black, white, fat, thin and all others in between. Private? Forget it.
Wonder how long it’ll take? To start regressing… to see my face change back. Bad thoughts return. Better get good at makeup again. Hate makeup. Hate you. All this effort. All this time. Felt like progress. Felt like me. Who now? Hate you.
Could become a pharmaceutical scientist? Make my own. Not practical. Takes too long. I’m too dumb. Placebos? Stock up on M&Ms. Trick myself. It’ll work, I’m dumb.
It won’t work. This is it, accept it, girl. Take with water, or dry? Actually taste it. Pink and sugary. Magic beans. Magnificent medical miracle marvel. Mad. I’m so mad. Angry. Fuming. Wanna scream, or tear something apart. Can hire a room now - smash up a car with a stick. Can kill Medieval Knights in VR. Amazing, what you can do. Can’t get my pills though.
Maybe don’t take it? Save it? Put it in a locked box, hide the key. Keepsake. Time capsule for when there is hope? Plant it in the soil like a seed? Grow a pill tree. Horde the spoils. Take as many as I can. Fantasy. Fantasy. Grow up.
Throw it. Chuck it out the window or flush it down the toilet. Crush it with your shoe. Who needs ya? I don’t. I don’t need anyone or anything. Meditate. Get comfortable. Be at peace. Elevate. Reach higher plane. Looks ain’t everything. Still you. Pills or not.
Not.
Knot. No - not that. Never that. Won’t give up. Life finds a way. Jurassic Park? Dinosaurs dead for millions of years. All hope lost. One day science brings them back. Have my last pill put in amber. Drop it in a tar pit. I’ll jump in too. Bring me back in a milly. When it’s better.
Have us in a zoo. Come from all around to look at me. Don’t get too close. Still angry. We escape. Go feral. Casualties amass. Blood and guts and screams every which way. Park is shut. Who can blame us, really? You made us. Big mistake.
First one. First new pill, to make things easier. Will take time. Might be fuzzy at first. Feel like floating. Not safe to operate heavy machinery. Funny. No chance anyway. 50mg to start, working towards 100. Been on them before though. Know my levels. This is worse than before. No hope to balance the dose. Well over 200mg I reckon.
Every day. 9 o’clock. Don’t think about it. Pop it in. That’s it. Shit.
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